Introduction:
One of my near and dear once spent an hour in a therapist's office
kicking an innocent throw pillow around the room and screaming out
rage at his abusive father. At the end of the hour, he had a broken
foot -- and the first beginnings of a healed mind.
But we have learned that magic works through symbols. Calling an object
by your abuser's name and then abusing that object is sympathetic
magic used for the purpose of cursing. To throw a curse is to project
one's worst feelings out into the world of form, and to invoke upon
oneself the inevitable karmic feedback.
It is not our way to blast the crops and sour the milk. Wiccan
tradition and plain common sense both tell us to avoid the practice
of baneful magic. But, as usual, it's not quite as easy as just
saying no.
Rape and child abuse, loved ones killed by muggers or drunk drivers,
emotional manipulation and betrayal, economic exploitation and
dishonest office politics - people hurt and victimize other people in
many different ways every day. We are not immune.
At some point in our lives, probably every single one of us will feel
violated by some other human being. Often our feelings will be based
in fact. Whether they are or not, however, we need and deserve a safe
way to discharge them.
Symbolic baneful actions are also cathartic actions. They drain and clear our
poisonous feelings and allow our own emotional healing to begin. If
we deny ourselves this outlet, what happens to the grief and pain and
rage?
If projection is bad for us, introjection is even worse. Unreleased bad
feelings are a major source of stress. In a very real sense, stress
cripples and kills. Ulcers, strokes, heart attacks and more are all
heavily stress-related. A simple refusal to engage in baneful magic
could easily amount to punishing a victim by adding serious illness
to the original harm.
I am part of the All. "An it harm none" is about me too.
Release of my feelings is my right.
At first it seems like an insoluble paradox. But the same understanding
of magic that forbids projection of our bad feelings can open a safe
channel for those feelings. Here's one possible form:
Preparation:
1) Understanding
Think about the Alcoholics Anonymous prayer. "Grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the
things I can change, and the wisdom to know the difference."
People of any religion can recognize the wisdom in those words. This
ritual is intended to ease emotional pressure. I believe that is a
step towards granting all three of those things to ourselves.
If your hurt is ongoing, you must take stepsto stop it - leave the
abusive relationship, begin searching for a new job, begin organizing
politically to stop your oppression. What good this Circle does you
will be temporary at best if you are not acting on both the magical
and material planes to change the things you can change.
But some of our pain comes from old, oldinjuries. And some of our
feelings are not based on fact at all. The source of those hurts
cannot be changed, but the pain can be. This particular working is to
release any bad feelings, not to judge them.
Don't worry about justice. You may be mistaken about who has hurt you, but
nobody will be hurt by what we do here. All energy will be contained
within the Circle. The object of this working is healing, not
justice. You deserve this healing simply because you hurt, and even
if you are mistaken.
Prevention and healing are human tasks; to do them is to change the things we
can change. Justice - the evening of karmic balances - is
the business of the Gods, and may take place across a span of many
lifetimes. Karmic balance is a thing we cannot change.
2) Set Up
You have some decisions to make. The first one is whether you will work
alone or ask one or more trusted friends to witness and facilitate
your working. Some of us can only let our feelings go in strict
privacy. For others, the presence of people who will make sure we
don't hurt ourselves or our homes removes a source of inhibition. And
sometimes simply being heard is part of the release process.
Next, exactly what kind of symbolic action will release your feelings?
Will kicking a throw pillow suffice, or do you need to actually make
a poppet? Or just screaming may be enough. If you want to work with a
physical symbol, prepare it in advance, and be sure not to use
anything you will want to keep after the rite or ever use again.
Figure out whether you can either cast a Circle to include your bathroom,
or leave a cast Circle for a period of time. This will depend on your
particular training. If possible, have a warm scented tub waiting for
you. If not, a basin of warm scented water and a washcloth within
easy reach just outside of your Circle will suffice. Also, a ritual
meal should be prepared and waiting outside of Circle, and this
should include something green and growing - I favor sprouts - and
something sweet.
Procedure:1) Waning moon is a good time for this Circle, and the Dark of the Moon is even better. Cast the Circle and invoke the Watchers in your usual manner. Call on the Crone, on She who weeds and prunes and disposes of the obstructive and unnecessary.
2) Just inside the Circle, like the membrane in an eggshell, cast a grounding shield. One possible image for this shield would be a black absorptive chain link fence, supported at regular intervals by fence posts that are lightning rods. Whatever happens within this space will be contained and grounded.
3) Make clear to yourself what wound you seek to drain. Say it out loud, even if you are alone. Recall what happened to you in detail and let the feelings grow strong.
4) Now, let go of your feelings. Do whatever will help you release what is in you. Beat on a pillow or rip up a doll. Scream till you cry. Don't stop till you are emptied. Then fling the thing you used as a symbol out of your Circle.
5) When you are sure you are all done, all drained, contract the shield into a tight ball in the center of the Circle. As it contracts, it will gather all the negative energy from the Circle. Ground it. Affirm that you are sending this energy to the fire at the heart of the Earth - to Jarnsaxe or to Pele - to be purified in that blast furnace and cycled to wherever strong energy is needed. Know that what you now let go is gone. Affirm this out loud.
6) Wash or bathe in a ritual manner, feeling the last traces of your bad feelings dissolve away. If others are present, allow them to wash and serve you.
7) Rest a few minutes. Feel the peace of emptiness.
8) Then invoke the Maiden's energy for new beginnings. Have your ritual feast, and otherwise indulge your senses. Gentle and joyful music would be effective, and you may want to switch to a sweeter smelling incense. This is a time to dream dreams and plan plans. You have removed an energy drain from your life, now you will be able to ... ?
9) Thank and dismiss whatever Beings you have called on, throughout the whole ritual. Close your Circle as usual. Do not do any other kinds of working or worship within this particular Circle.
Follow Through:
The final part of any effective magical working is "acting in
accordance" on the material plane. By doing this, we give the
magic a channel through which to manifest. For this working, there
are three forms of follow through, and all are important.
1) Remember that painful feelings are partly habitual. Acting in accordance with magic to banish such feelings requires you to stop feeding the habit. Don't talk about the pain with anybody until at least the second full moon after the working. This gives the habit a chance to fade out. As much as you can, eliminate the topic from your internal dialogue as well. When you notice yourself dwelling on the old pain, gently and firmly change the subject.
Thinking about action to change your life in the here and now is perfectly OK. The problem is reiteration of old feelings of frustration and helplessness that actually impede change.
2) If the hurtful situation is current and ongoing, continue with any steps you were taking to change the things you can change. In fact, you will probably find you have more energy than you did before to devote to your projects.
3) Be sure to use some of your newly freed emotional energy to reward yourself. Take time for friendship, love, and pleasure. The object of the exercise is to clear space for the enjoyment of life, so start right now.
Judy Harrow
HPs, Proteus Coven